Make It Or Break It: Groups and Everything Else Part Two

It's that time of the week again. Okay, it's a day past that time of the week but yesterday I had a blood test for the first time in ages and I needed moral support, vomited, and then spent the day at a friend's boyfriend's house being chatted up and checked out by his housemate while playing D & D style boardgames. It was a good day, minus the vomit. Today, I was in the city celebrating a friend's coming of age, feasting, gambling and bowling. Not really, I joined the casino club and they gave me a $5 voucher to gamble with, lost it, and won $10 on the slots. Huzzah! I paid for bowling with that. Enough of that, now for gymnastics.

Alicia Sacramone has retired, I'm sad. I read TCG's initial farewell article and came close to tearing up. I haven't been a mega gym fan for long but I'll miss AS's absolute determination, overcoming injuries, fighting the stigma that only young gymnasts are successful and watching her cheer on every gymnast in the arena. Every competition she attends you can hear her shouting the loudest "Come On! Up! There you go!" that you can hear. She's a hurricane and I may just give some respect if she pushes the terrible trio out of the NBC studios. I swear the only decent words spoken are the fun trivia facts you learn about gymnasts.

On to the leotards. The last MIOBI leotard review before we move on to other stuff.

Lauren's choice, it's nice for a start. I like the shiny blue that looks like the ocean when she moves, I don't mind the black stripes across the torso or the black strap. It may not be a winner but it's definitely not the most offensive leotard you could wear. It's rather pretty.

Black and a strong shade of girly pink, I like it. The shade of pink isn't too bright or to nauseatingly light and the black gives off the impression that the gymnast wearing it is to be taken more seriously than the gymnast wearing neon or deep magenta. It's nice and isn't shiny and just a nice sleek design.

I just realised, we've already done Payson's monstrosity. For anyone who doesn't recall, purple and velvet are words that should not be in the same sentence along with the word leotard. It just doesn't work.

Kelly Parker, a nice shade of blue, as most shades of blue are. Mind you I'm not sure about the skinny lines crossing her chest like they were added without checking to see if they were in the right place. Not to mention that the line that finishes on the left is lower on the breast than the line that finishes on the right. It's lopsided. Not sure if this is a manufacturing defect, stupid design or just a bad angle. Probably just crappy design. I get the feeling that some leotard designers come up with designs that look pretty on paper but don't take into consideration how they will look on human bodies.

We'll start with Lauren because her leo is rather easy to critique. I very much dislike silver or grey on leotards, let alone shiny grey or silver but this case isn't the worst we've seen. There is always Payson's tin-foil tard from her copycat Lauren routine. No Payson, I have not forgotten. It may not be an offensive colour but the weird rhinestone pattern is just silly. You can hardly see them at all so why bother? I think my theory is gaining ground. Designers assume their pictures will translate into pretty garments but don't actually think about how it will come out.

Payson, I sort of liked this one to begin with. Now I'm not sure. The shades of blue and the white details make me think of this leotard as a swimming costume. Yes, I'm aware there is a difference but couldn't you see this exact design in a one piece? I damn well could, I can even envision the Speedo logo on it by the thigh.

Do we need to speak about Payson's leo? You know what, on second glance I don't hate it as much as I used to. It may be shiny tinfoil, but the stripes kind of neutralize the overbearing element that all shiny leo's have. I'm rather conflicted about this one so I'll leave it up to you guys. Post a comment or send an email with your opinions on this one.

Oh Lauren. You may have a heart condition but that hardly excuses your wardrobe choice. Ok, the wardrobe people's choice. The major issue of this leotard is the psychadelic fire that makes no sense whatsoever. It's just trying to invade and just looks so wrong. Not to mention that Lauren is extra orange in this particular shot...Or maybe it's the black leotard making her look darker.

First off, I love this pic for the pose. It's beautiful. It may be a shot from the side but you can see the general idea from here. It may be green but it's a shade that works somehow. It's a nice simple design, as opposed as some members of the gym community are to sleeveless leos in competition I like this one just because on beam you can get excellent shots that show the definition of the gymnast's arms. Well, it also helps that the sleeveless design isn't terrible. However I would not wear this to a national or international competition. For a club meet, I think it's perfectly fine.

Although similar to the previous leotard, this green is just hideous. It's the kind of green that only works on walls in kooky rooms and stationary. Not to mention the white sleeves and the pointless bits of black. The design team must have thought, "How can I make this less appealing?". And then there's the silver stars down the arms, what are they there for? They look silly. The current trend may be to add as much crazy shit to your garments but that doesn't mean you have to get sucked in and follow. More is less people.

At the very beginning, I liked these "leotards". I say leotards in quotation marks but the truth is no respectable gymnast would be caught dead in them. Except the stunt doubles, but you can't see their faces and there are so many doubles you can hardly tell who they are. So they're safe. As for the actual garments, they're way too loose at the crotch as evidenced by the episode, the fishnet rights just look stupid and I get the feeling they'd rip when you do bars. Also, they're probably made with pleather which just looks awkward when creased. The only positive thing I can say about this selection is that I like the overall design of Kaylie's leotard but perhaps in a much more normal leo.

Oh dear Kaylie, are we attempting to repeat your World's Team Trials leotard in some strange way? I don't mind the shiny black fabric, it's rather nice. The deal breaker is in the random green stripes and the random pink triangles. It looks like it should be either black and pink or black and green. Personally I'm sick of black and pink on Kaylie so black and green would be a nice change. And perhaps with some new shapes or designs that make sense.

Wendy we can sort of see in an aqua and orange selection. It's a colour combination I wouldn't have though of but it works quite well. In fact it's one of my favourites in the shot. It's pretty and simple, no unnecessary elements.

I actually like Lauren's leotard. Orange isn't a colour you see every day in gymnastics, and black and orange are always a great combination. It's a little cliche with the whole tiger stripe deal but I like it. Just not on Lauren. Orange skin and orange leo are like wearing a purple skirt and a purple shirt. Too much purple. Contrast is good, clashing is bad. Get it?

We can't see Kelly Parker's leo but I assure you you're not missing anything. Black leotard with a little but of red. Rather sporty and if I recall correctly has a v-cut neck with red outlining it.

Payson, nice colour on its own but the shiny fabric is just too shiny. It's distracting. I also dislike the black stripes down the side and over the straps. I get it that the designers were going for the sporty look but it's Payson here. She used to be the sporty one, now she's the pretty one. At least thats what we're supposed to believe. Her leotards are rather contradictory. Perhaps it's not the leotard, it's who's wearing it. I could probably handle anyone other than the central characters wearing this.

Background extras, most likely legit gymnasts. The one in the back is wearing something I can only describe as a purple mountain with a very sharply defined snowcap. The three colours together are just odd. Either combination of white and blue or white and purple and you're good. When you go to mixing the blue and purple, not great. At least not these two hues. It's a design I'd expect from the 90s.

Other background gymnast. I rather like her leo, it's a unique design. Theres very likely people who dislike it and I totally understand that, it is one step above bugly. It could however do with either less rhinestones or just get rid of them and stick with the other shade of gold. It's nice.

Ahh Wendy. The last three selections are of Wendy. I like this leotard probably because it's not on Kaylie. Also, I like the immersion of the black into the pink. You can't see it from this picture but it's sort of a spotted, chequered pattern where the two colours meet and it's rather nice. The shade of pink is right, the pattern is right and it's just nice and simple.

I used to hate this one for obvious reasons but I take it all back. It's completely whacky but I love it. It's so tropical and fresh. Or at least it feels that way. As much as I hate mesh sleeves because you can see the seams, it's harder to spot and your eyes aren't drawn to that area because there is so much more to look at. I agree the rhinestones on the sleeves are unnecessary but the fabric isn't too shiny, the stripes aren't senseless and the strap across the shoulder adds something to the whole look. In fact I think Kytra Hunter should have worn this instead at the 09' nationals. It's the same colours minus the black and there isn't green fire running up your armpit.

I don't mind the velvet this time around. Rhinestones around the collar and sleeves, a nice touch. The star, I don't mind. The rest of it, unnecessary. I can understand the desire to make all leotards even and add the red but it makes little sense.

An interesting array of leotards this week. Some good, some bad. It's only been a month. I'm going nuts for any gymnastics. Anyone else feel the same? Comments, suggestions, anything goes guys.

Coming up next week is a selection from Alpha Factor and Snowflake Designs.